Popular culture often portrays divorced fathers as deadbeats who have little interest in caring for the emotional, physical, and financial needs of their children. In the stereotype-shattering book, “I Didn’t Divorce My Kids!”, Gerhard Amendt presents the long-neglected plight of the divorced father who is plagued by grief and loneliness after being separated from his children. Based on surveys and in-depth interviews of thousands of such dads, Amendt reveals how fathers cope with trying to salvage their own lives while simultaneously maintaining relationships with their children after a painful divorce.
Amendt’s incisive look at divided families also explores the impact that a single-parent household has on children’s well-being, criticizing the American tendency to over-pathologize normal reactions to familial upheaval. Even the most civilized of divorces, Amendt argues, can cause rage, sadness, potential health problems, and behavioral disturbances in otherwise well-adjusted children. The broad spectrum of experiences recounted in “I Didn’t Divorce My Kids!” will be essential reading for anyone interested in, or personally shaped by, the changing face of the modern family.
Amendt’s incisive look at divided families also explores the impact that a single-parent household has on children’s well-being, criticizing the American tendency to over-pathologize normal reactions to familial upheaval. Even the most civilized of divorces, Amendt argues, can cause rage, sadness, potential health problems, and behavioral disturbances in otherwise well-adjusted children. The broad spectrum of experiences recounted in “I Didn’t Divorce My Kids!” will be essential reading for anyone interested in, or personally shaped by, the changing face of the modern family.
Table of Contents
Foreword
Introduction
1. Divorce from a Socio-Political Perspective
2. What Men Say about Their Divorces: Fifteen Case Histories
Divorce by Fax - Martin W.
Fatherhood after the Loss of Joint Parenthood – Peter T.
A "Vacation Dad" per Court Decree – Richard B.
When the Wife is Declared Insane – Ian L.
When the Youth Welfare Office Joins Forces with the Mother – Frederick H.
When Children Are Expected to Decide About the Relationship – Aaron S.
A Last minute Trip to Jamaica – Chris O.
“Daddy, you’re not paying any child-support!" - Harry T.
When the Daughter Takes Care of the Father – Philip M.
The Accusation of Abuse As a Conflict Strategy – Toby V.
2. What Men Say about Their Divorces: Fifteen Case Histories
Divorce by Fax - Martin W.
Fatherhood after the Loss of Joint Parenthood – Peter T.
A "Vacation Dad" per Court Decree – Richard B.
When the Wife is Declared Insane – Ian L.
When the Youth Welfare Office Joins Forces with the Mother – Frederick H.
When Children Are Expected to Decide About the Relationship – Aaron S.
A Last minute Trip to Jamaica – Chris O.
“Daddy, you’re not paying any child-support!" - Harry T.
When the Daughter Takes Care of the Father – Philip M.
The Accusation of Abuse As a Conflict Strategy – Toby V.
“Isn’t that the guy they accused of sexual abuse?" Herb E. E.
Uncertain Paternity – Manfred S.
New Fathers Unwanted? George T.
A Peculiar Love Triangle – John D.
Divorce As a Cause of Illness – Gabe H.
New Fathers Unwanted? George T.
A Peculiar Love Triangle – John D.
Divorce As a Cause of Illness – Gabe H.
3. "Visitation Time" – How Fathers Spend Time with Their Children
4. What Makes Fathers Sever Relations with Their Children?
5. Intimate Violence, Health and Professional Help
Conclusions: New Perspectives on the Discourse of Divorce
Notes